Le temps d'un café
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Le temps d'un café
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Le temps d'un café (s'inscrire pour repondre)
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attention ca taille sévère...
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kam_
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281
Age
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43
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pas tres loin juste derriere toi en fait
Date d'inscription :
08/01/2008
Sujet: attention ca taille sévère...
Jeu 4 Déc - 14:26
on commence par les batteurs...
</embed></object><br />A quoi reconnait-on un batteur? Réponse: c'est un mec qui a des potes musiciens...<br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Un batteur entre en hurlant dans une bibliothèque :<br />"BONJOUR TOUT LE MONDE, JE VOUDRAIS UNE PAIRE DE BAGUETTES ET MONTREZ MOI DONC VOTRE STOCK DE CYMBALES !!!"<br />La<br />bibliothécaire, affolée mais en parlant très doucement :" Mais<br />Monsieur, calmez vous. Vous êtes dans une bibliothèque, vous ne pouvez<br />pas crier comme ça."<br />Le batteur : " Ha bon ? Désolé. "<br />La bibliothécaire : "Bien, que puis-je pour vous ?"<br />Le batteur, en sussurant : " Eh bien, je voudrais une paire de baguettes et pouvez-vous me montrer votre stock de cymbales?..."<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Question : Quelle est la difference entre un batteur et une boite à rythme ?<br />Réponse : Cinq mesures à la fin du morceau.<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Question : Quel est le point commun entre un break de batterie et la foudre?<br />Réponse : On ne sait pas quand et où ça va tomber et c'est jamais deux fois au même endroit.<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Quelle est la différence entre un préservatif et un batteur ?<br />Il n'y en a pas car pour les deux, c'est plus sûr avec mais c'est quand même mieux sans. <br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Pourquoi un mauvais batteur vaut mieux qu'une boite à rythmes ?<br />Vous n'avez pas besoin de le brancher pour obtenir quelque chose de raide, mécanique et sans inspiration. <br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Pourquoi vaut-il mieux jouer avec une boite à rythmes qu'avec un batteur ?<br />Parce qu'elle peut garder un tempo régulier sans coucher avec votre femme. <br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Un petit garçon dit à sa maman : "Quand j'serai grand, j'serai batteur !"<br />"Mais mon chéri, on ne peut pas faire les deux à la fois !" <br /><br />puis les guitaristes...<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/JEiHhqiwO-8&hl=fr&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JEiHhqiwO-8" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Combien de guitaristes faut-il pour changer une ampoule ?<br /><br />Douze. Un pour la changer et onze pour dire qu'ils le feraient mieux.<br /><br />Autre réponse: un mais il va le faire trop fort.<br /><br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Quelle est la différence entre un guitariste et une machine à coudre mal huilée ?<br /><br />La machine à coudre joue moins fort.<br /><br />------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Vous avez entendu parler du guitariste qui disait qu'il pouvait jouer des<br /><br />quadruples croches ?<br /><br />Les autres ne l'ont pas cru alors il en a joué une.<br /><br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Que doit on marquer sur une partition de guitare pour la faire jouer mezzo-forte ?<br /><br />Pianissimo espressivo.<br /><br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Comment faire jouer un guitariste moins fort ?<br /><br />En lui donnant une partition !<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><strong>Les Bassistes...mais que ce passe t'il dans leurs cerveaux?</strong><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/Cq2MwNiK3t0&hl=fr&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Cq2MwNiK3t0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Quelle est la différence entre deux bassistes fretless ?<br />Réponse : un demi-ton.(speciale dédicace a ro!!!)<br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Le bassiste se plaint : "Le batteur m'a désaccordé une<br />corde, c'est dégueulasse."<br />Le chanteur répond : "Ben t'as qu' à la raccorder !"<br />"Ouais, mais il veut pas me dire laquelle."-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Un homme visite une île paumée. On entend sans cesse un<br />rythme de batterie. <br />Le type demande aux indigènes la raison de ce rythme et ils lui<br />répondent tous:<br />"Très mauvais quand batterie stop." <br />"Mais qu'est-ce qu`il se passe quand la batterie s'arrête<br />?"<br />"Début solo de basse"-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Pourquoi le manche d'une basse parait aussi long que celui<br />d'une guitare ?<br />Parce que les doigts du bassiste sont plus boudinés.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Un groupe est sur un bateau, le bassiste tombe à l'eau. Que<br />font les autres ?<br />Ils lui balancent son ampli à la tête !-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------les chanteurs....<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/2k0aJM_Czxc&hl=fr&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2k0aJM_Czxc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /><iframe src="http://www.monbetisier.com/lecteurexportable.php?v=2152&format=3" width=465 height=360 scrolling=no frameborder=0 >
</embed></object><br />-------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Quelle est la différence entre un chanteur et un terroriste ?<br />On peut négocier avec un terroriste.<br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />Dans un orchestre de Jazz, le sax, leader du groupe, annonce<br />(sur un ton rapide) :<br />"Bon, alors aujourd'hui on revoit "All the things you<br />are" avec une nouvelle structure :<br />- sur l'intro on ne joue pas la 8ème mesure, on attaque tout de<br />suite sur le A, on fait la reprise<br />- sur le pont on prend 1/2 ton plus haut<br />- sur le dernier A on prend les trois premières mesures en 3/4<br />- on réattaque le thème, on ne fait pas la reprise,<br />- on refait le pont 1 ton plus bas, on ralentit sur le dernier A<br />- on remonte au signe on fait seulement 3 mesures avec la<br />deuxième en 5/4<br />- et on va à la CODA en sautant une ligne et fin libre"<br />La chanteuse panique :<br />"Eh, tu peux redire plus lentement ? Je n'ai pas tout<br />retenu."<br />Le sax répond :<br />"Non, pour toi, c'est bon, tu fais comme d'habitude !"</div><div class="clear"></div></div><span class="gensmall"></span></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2"><div class="fa_like_div"><p class="fa_like_list" style="display: none;"></p><button class="rep-button " data-href="" data-href-rm=""><svg width="15px" height="15px" viewBox="0 0 1792 1792" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><path d="M320 1344q0-26-19-45t-45-19q-27 0-45.5 19t-18.5 45q0 27 18.5 45.5t45.5 18.5q26 0 45-18.5t19-45.5zm160-512v640q0 26-19 45t-45 19h-288q-26 0-45-19t-19-45v-640q0-26 19-45t45-19h288q26 0 45 19t19 45zm1184 0q0 86-55 149 15 44 15 76 3 76-43 137 17 56 0 117-15 57-54 94 9 112-49 181-64 76-197 78h-129q-66 0-144-15.5t-121.5-29-120.5-39.5q-123-43-158-44-26-1-45-19.5t-19-44.5v-641q0-25 18-43.5t43-20.5q24-2 76-59t101-121q68-87 101-120 18-18 31-48t17.5-48.5 13.5-60.5q7-39 12.5-61t19.5-52 34-50q19-19 45-19 46 0 82.5 10.5t60 26 40 40.5 24 45 12 50 5 45 .5 39q0 38-9.5 76t-19 60-27.5 56q-3 6-10 18t-11 22-8 24h277q78 0 135 57t57 135z" fill="#666"/></svg><span>J'aime</span><span class="rep-nb" style="display:none;"></span></button><button class="rep-button " data-href="" data-href-rm=""><svg width="15px" height="15px" viewBox="0 0 1792 1792" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><path d="M320 576q0 26-19 45t-45 19q-27 0-45.5-19t-18.5-45q0-27 18.5-45.5t45.5-18.5q26 0 45 18.5t19 45.5zm160 512v-640q0-26-19-45t-45-19h-288q-26 0-45 19t-19 45v640q0 26 19 45t45 19h288q26 0 45-19t19-45zm1129-149q55 61 55 149-1 78-57.5 135t-134.5 57h-277q4 14 8 24t11 22 10 18q18 37 27 57t19 58.5 10 76.5q0 24-.5 39t-5 45-12 50-24 45-40 40.5-60 26-82.5 10.5q-26 0-45-19-20-20-34-50t-19.5-52-12.5-61q-9-42-13.5-60.5t-17.5-48.5-31-48q-33-33-101-120-49-64-101-121t-76-59q-25-2-43-20.5t-18-43.5v-641q0-26 19-44.5t45-19.5q35-1 158-44 77-26 120.5-39.5t121.5-29 144-15.5h129q133 2 197 78 58 69 49 181 39 37 54 94 17 61 0 117 46 61 43 137 0 32-15 76z" fill="#666"/></svg><span>Je n'aime pas</span><span class="rep-nb" style="display:none;"></span></button></div></td></tr></table></td></tr><tr class="post--1038" style=""><td class="row1 browse-arrows" align="center" valign="middle" width="150"><a href="#top"><img class="sprite-arrow_subsilver_up" src="https://2img.net/i/empty.gif" alt="Revenir en haut" loading="lazy" /></a> <a href="#bottom"><img class="sprite-arrow_subsilver_down" src="https://2img.net/i/empty.gif" alt="Aller en bas" loading="lazy" /></a></td><td class="row1 messaging gensmall" width="100%" height="28"><table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td valign="middle"> </td></tr></table></td></tr><tr class="post post--1039" id="p1039" style=""><td class="row2" valign="top" width="150"><span class="name"><a name="1039" style="position: relative; top: -30px; width: 1px;" id="1039"></a><strong>romain</strong></span><br /><span class="postdetails poster-profile">Langue pendue<br /><img loading="lazy" src="https://2img.net/u/1612/13/63/48/avatars/102-17.jpg" alt="romain" style="max-width: 200px; max-height: 600px" /><br /><br /><div class="dd_award right"></div><div class="award_more"></div><br><span class="label"><span style="color:#000000;">Nombre de messages</span> : </span> 186<br /><span class="label"><span style="color:#000000;">Age</span> : </span> 41<br /><span class="label"><span style="color:#000000;">Localisation</span> : </span> ecquevilly<br /><span class="label">Date d'inscription : </span> 10/02/2008<br /></span><br /><img src="https://2img.net/i/empty.gif" alt="attention ca taille sévère... Empty" style="width:150px;height:1px" /></td><td class="row2" valign="top" width="100%" height="100%"><table width="100%" height="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td><span class="postdetails"><img class="sprite-icon_minipost" src="https://2img.net/i/empty.gif" alt="Message" title="Message" border="0" />Sujet: Re: attention ca taille sévère... <img src="https://2img.net/i/fa/icon_minitime.gif" alt="attention ca taille sévère... Icon_minitime" border="0" />Jeu 4 Déc - 15:52</span></td><td valign="top" nowrap="nowrap" class="post-options"> </td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" class="hr"><hr /></td></tr><tr height="100%" valign="top"><td colspan="2"><div class="postbody"><div>les 2 minutes du peuple c'est trop énorme</div><div class="clear"></div></div><span class="gensmall"></span></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2"><div class="fa_like_div"><p class="fa_like_list" style="display: none;"></p><button class="rep-button " data-href="" data-href-rm=""><svg width="15px" height="15px" viewBox="0 0 1792 1792" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><path d="M320 1344q0-26-19-45t-45-19q-27 0-45.5 19t-18.5 45q0 27 18.5 45.5t45.5 18.5q26 0 45-18.5t19-45.5zm160-512v640q0 26-19 45t-45 19h-288q-26 0-45-19t-19-45v-640q0-26 19-45t45-19h288q26 0 45 19t19 45zm1184 0q0 86-55 149 15 44 15 76 3 76-43 137 17 56 0 117-15 57-54 94 9 112-49 181-64 76-197 78h-129q-66 0-144-15.5t-121.5-29-120.5-39.5q-123-43-158-44-26-1-45-19.5t-19-44.5v-641q0-25 18-43.5t43-20.5q24-2 76-59t101-121q68-87 101-120 18-18 31-48t17.5-48.5 13.5-60.5q7-39 12.5-61t19.5-52 34-50q19-19 45-19 46 0 82.5 10.5t60 26 40 40.5 24 45 12 50 5 45 .5 39q0 38-9.5 76t-19 60-27.5 56q-3 6-10 18t-11 22-8 24h277q78 0 135 57t57 135z" fill="#666"/></svg><span>J'aime</span><span class="rep-nb" style="display:none;"></span></button><button class="rep-button " data-href="" data-href-rm=""><svg width="15px" height="15px" viewBox="0 0 1792 1792" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><path d="M320 576q0 26-19 45t-45 19q-27 0-45.5-19t-18.5-45q0-27 18.5-45.5t45.5-18.5q26 0 45 18.5t19 45.5zm160 512v-640q0-26-19-45t-45-19h-288q-26 0-45 19t-19 45v640q0 26 19 45t45 19h288q26 0 45-19t19-45zm1129-149q55 61 55 149-1 78-57.5 135t-134.5 57h-277q4 14 8 24t11 22 10 18q18 37 27 57t19 58.5 10 76.5q0 24-.5 39t-5 45-12 50-24 45-40 40.5-60 26-82.5 10.5q-26 0-45-19-20-20-34-50t-19.5-52-12.5-61q-9-42-13.5-60.5t-17.5-48.5-31-48q-33-33-101-120-49-64-101-121t-76-59q-25-2-43-20.5t-18-43.5v-641q0-26 19-44.5t45-19.5q35-1 158-44 77-26 120.5-39.5t121.5-29 144-15.5h129q133 2 197 78 58 69 49 181 39 37 54 94 17 61 0 117 46 61 43 137 0 32-15 76z" fill="#666"/></svg><span>Je n'aime pas</span><span class="rep-nb" style="display:none;"></span></button></div></td></tr></table></td></tr><tr class="post--1039" style=""><td class="row2 browse-arrows" align="center" valign="middle" width="150"><a href="#top"><img class="sprite-arrow_subsilver_up" src="https://2img.net/i/empty.gif" alt="Revenir en haut" loading="lazy" /></a> <a href="#bottom"><img class="sprite-arrow_subsilver_down" src="https://2img.net/i/empty.gif" alt="Aller en bas" loading="lazy" /></a></td><td class="row2 messaging gensmall" width="100%" height="28"><table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td valign="middle"> </td></tr></table></td></tr><tr align="right"><td class="catBottom" colspan="2" height="28"><table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="9%" class="noprint"> </td><td 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